Selling yourself short!

(I'm only writing this for journal keeping and to open up conversations if you are going through the same thing....there are a lot more people going through the same thing than I realized and I'm sure there are more that just don't talk about it:)

We have had a lot going on in the last few months. We have been trying to get a loan modification since the end of December. When we bought our house, we got an interest only loan for 10 years which we believed to be smart! Our thoughts were that it wasn't variable so it wouldn't go up and we had 10 whole years where we could refinance, sell or the kids would be old enough where I could work more. Who could have imagined that the economy would tank so badly? Not us...that's for sure! If we could have seen the future, we would have sold our first house, put our equity in savings, rented and then bought a house now! But unfortunately, no one knows what is going to happen in the future except for the Lord! And since we didn't know the future, we are upside down in our house (like most people) and now will not be able to refinance or sell. It totally sucks since we put $90,000 down on this house which is now lost and it's still worth $100,000 less than we owe. Since our payment will go up about $600 in a few years (which is not doable), we decided to try and get it modified now. We really thought everything would work out when we first started the process but we have come to learn that the banks really don't want to work with people. They don't really care that they got all of that money from the government that we, the tax payers, have given them. It truly is a joke. Not a funny joke but a joke! We actually got a great offer back in just a few weeks and it was a doable solution. They had us do a three month trial period with that payment and at the end of that trial period, they would give us a contract and life would go on. If only it was that simple! But alas, banks like to be complicated, unhelpful and greedy. The contract that we received was not what they had given us originally. It was actually a lower monthly payment (and we got excited for just a minute until we realized it had to be too good to be true and kept reading) but they added in a balloon payment of a whopping $55,000 to be paid if we ever sold, short sold, foreclosed or just at the end of our loan. Really? Who has $55,000 just sitting in the bank. Not us. We wouldn't be needing that loan modification if we did....dummies!! So we denied that contract and resubmitted our request. And all the while, we are paying the payment we had agreed upon in the first place! A few weeks go by and we got something in the mail and it showed that the last payment we made was unapplied!! Why in the world would you not apply money that we gave you!! So since they weren't going to apply our payments to anything, we missed last month. We then waited another 6 weeks before we got another message from them stating that since we didn't sign that contract, they aren't giving us any other offer!! What the heck??? So because we won't sign that dumb contract which was totally different from what we agreed upon first, you are no longer working with us??? They are truly idiots!! We would still be paying the full loan amount, just at a lower interest rate!! Isn't that better than selling this home for a lot less money and having to go through all the hassle and paperwork to do so??? I guess....just doesn't seem very smart to me. Travis had even seen on the internet that they were offering mods that said that $10,000 would be forgiven every year until the balloon payment was completely gone. Hellllloooo!! That is soooo doable but they won't do that. It's only for certain people!! Why not give it to everyone??? The president of the bank even said in the article that it would be a win/win for both parties to do that!! Um...yup. So do it!! So, they are pretty much forcing us to short sell. It's pretty much the best thing to do. It doesn't affect your credit as bad or as long as a foreclosure. I was still very worried about the process but after talking to good friends that have already gone through it and a very knowledgeable realtor, I feel so much better about it. He was a member of the church and I just felt a peace the whole time I was listening to him talk. I know that it is going to be alright. I know that this is just the direction that our family is supposed to take right now. It still sucks. I'm not going to lie. But there are pros and cons to everything. I love my house. I love that it is on a cul de sac and I can let my kids ride their bikes and it's quieter. I love my big back yard. I love my three car garage. I do. But maybe there are better things in the future for us. I really don't love our $500 power bills in the summer. I really don't love that my girls' room is very, very hot even with that $500 bill. I really don't love that the builders used kitec plumbing and that we would have to eventually get our plumbing replaced and our walls ripped up which would be a big pain in the butt! I really wish my pantry and closet were a heck of a lot bigger. See....there are pros and cons to everything and I have to really think about the cons of my house so I don't get sad about what I will be leaving. Believe me, I'm not looking for sympathy. We certainly aren't the only ones going through this and we certainly won't be the last ones to either. This is just what is happening to us right now and I wanted to record my feelings. I also wanted to put it out there so that if people wanted to talk about it, they are welcome to talk to me about it. I have gained so much information and insight from talking to other people (thanks Jen!!) and it has helped so much. Information makes the process so much less scary. Knowledge is very important when you are dealing with something like this. We are waiting a few months to short sell because I really don't want to be moving at Christmas time:) I will be very relieved when it is over and can look forward to whatever is in store for our family.