We went to the cemetary today to honor my Grandpa who served in WWII and to visit Grandma Great. Makenna has been wanting to give her the picture she drew and some flowers!
Makenna is such a sweetheart! I love this sensitive little girl.
Our first home right before we moved out four years ago!!
It is really hard trying to explain death to a five year old! I debated on whether or not to let Makenna see Grandma. I didn't know if she would understand. I didn't know how she would take it. I just didn't know. I just figured we would go in the room and let her take the lead. If she went over to see her, we would just go with it. Makenna pretty much went over to Grandma right away. She really wanted to see her so I went with her. My precious little girl just put her hands on the side of her casket and looked and her Grandma Great. We just talked about how pretty she was and how pretty her dress was. We took our seats and thought that went very well when the next thing I know, Makenna is back looking at Grandma.....hands again on the side of the casket looking in. This girl was making me break down! She kept going back again and again. I don't know what was going through this sweet baby girl's mind but she wanted to see her Grandma Great. When they were about to close her casket, I took her up one last time and we said that we loved her. Makenna started crying as we left and she told me that she wanted Grandma to say I love you back to her!!
This is the picture that she drew at joy school yesterday. In the upper right corner is Grandma Great in her casket with a flower on it (she had flowers all over it) and Makenna is on the bottom left and has tears coming down her face!
As we were walking behind Grandma after the funeral was over, Makenna started getting panicky. I asked her what was the matter and she said she wanted to give Grandma Great a kiss. I told her she couldn't and she started to get upset. Then she really started to freak out when she saw them put her in the back of the hearse. She totally broke down crying when we got in the van. I got in the back with her and just held her and she just kept saying that she hopes Grandma feels better. After we got to the grave site and the dedicatory prayer (which my Dad gave and did an awesome job on:), some threw roses into the grave. Makenna wanted to do this but as she did it, she yells, "OH CRAP!! My rose broke!!" That's my Makenna:) Her rose had broken apart and fell off. When it was time to leave, she started to get upset again and she told me she wanted to give Grandma a kiss! I could think of only one solution so I took her over there and we both blew kisses at Grandma! I know she caught them:)
This is a flower from one of the arrangements.
That night and the next couple of days were still hard for her. She kept saying that she hopes Grandma feels better. She would all of a sudden be in tears and tell me that she is sad because she wants to see Grandma. She was also worried about my Mom because she saw tears coming down her face:) I think we are now in the phase of denial. She drew her a picture and said she wanted to go over to her house to see her and hang it up on her wall. I don't really know how else to explain this to a five year old. It's Memorial Day this weekend and we always put something on Grandpa Dunsmoor's grave so I'm going to take Makenna with me this time so she can put something on Grandma's. Maybe we will give Grandma that picture:)
A grandmother holds
her grandchildren's hands
for a while...
Their hearts forever
Connie 'Rae' Cheney Dunsmoor was born April 2, 1934 and passed from this earth on May 16, 2010. She was married when she was 17 to my Grandpa Dunsmoor and was married for 17 years before he passed in 1968. She was alone for another 17 years before she married again to Ken Bell. They were married for 15 years (messed up her pattern of 17:) before he passed away. She then married her last husband Duane in 2001 and he just passed in January. She has had such a hard life. When my Grandpa died, he left her with five children to raise by herself. She was only 34 years old when she was widowed. I've always known that but it really hit me hard now that I have just turned 34 in April. I cannot even imagine how my Grandma did it! My Grandpa was only 42 years old when he died and it has been 42 years since he passed....(there goes those number patterns again:) I guess it was definitely her time and there truly is a glorious reunion going on in Heaven. She has been an amazing Grandma and we will miss her dearly!!
I had to do a talk at her funeral about all of her Grandchildren's memories. These are a few of mine......
When I think of my Grandma, I remember her beautiful roses that lined the front of her house to the raspberries that lined the stairs in the backyard and her popcorn apricot tree. I remember climbing the fig tree and feeding her turtles. When we were really young, we would go over to her house for Christmas and she would have different games for us to play with prizes to win which was always so fun. Thanksgiving would always have homemade place cards cut out like turkeys with all of our names on them and playing football out in front of her house. I also remember the lazy suzan type round thing her tv was on before her house was remodeled. You could turn the tv towards the living room or the kitchen and I thought that was the best thing ever! She also always had mints to share at church and every time I smell exhaust, I think of her orange el camino!!
I remember how thrilled she was when I named my first daughter Makenna "Rae" after her. She would call her her namesake over and over again and even signed her name Grandma “Rae” in the cards she sent us. It made her so happy.
But my fondest memory is my most recent one. I just gave birth to her last great grandchild born in her lifetime in April. I was planning on going over to Grandma’s house so that she could meet my son but was trying to get adjusted to having three kids. I started feeling like I really needed to get over there soon so I asked my mom when we were going to go visit Grandma. We decided to go that Friday which was May 7th. Grandma’s eyes lit up when she saw my little one and loved being able to hold him. I took some pictures of them and Aiden even smiled at her as they looked into each other’s eyes. That melted her heart and made her day. My girls played around us while we had a nice visit. I gave her a hug and kiss and told her I loved her and left her house for the last time while she was alive. The very next morning, she was taken to the hospital. I will forever be grateful for being able to introduce my son to my grandma and that she had the opportunity to hold him.
We love you and will miss you dearly Grandma Great!!
I am weary! It was a very emotional weekend and I can feel it. It takes a lot out of you. I also had to give a talk about all of the Grandchildren's memories. I think it went well but stressed about it until it was over. My little girl is also having a hard time. She keeps telling me she is sad because she wants to go see Grandma Great or wants to put a flower in her hair, etc....She also said many numerous things yesterday that about put me in tears every time (that will be in the next post because I'm too tired today:) I love how sensitive and sweet my baby girl is. It is also very difficult trying to explain death to a five year old. This is her first close experience with death. We just keep telling her that she went to be with Heavenly Father just like Dot (my parents dog just recently). She then tells me that she wants to go see her. We will be able to someday baby!! Someday. I'm so thankful that Families are Forever!
A Grandmother holds her grandchildren's hands for awhile.....Their hearts forever!
We bought and planted some beautiful flowers last spring. They had such a gorgeous color but they didn't last long because Miss Kenna decided to pick off all the flowers. We never got anymore flowers from it after that and it literally looked like it had died. But for some reason I would still give it a drink of water because....you never know. Now that the weather is warmer, I put the pot aside to put something new in it. Before we knew it, some green started sprouting from it. Travis thought they were weeds and even sprayed some weed killer in it (I didn't know this because I was still watering it:) My watering paid off because we started getting some buds!!
And now we have beautiful flowers again!! And Makenna has been told not to pick them! :)
So, this reminded me to never give up on things. You don't know what beautiful things will come if you keep at something!
My very good friend Sarah is the most creative woman I know and took the cutest pics of her son who is only a week older than mine. I HAD to use the idea because they look so awesome. I did them super quick but I love how they turned out. I might have to do it again and try to get some more:)
I am so in love with my son...aka....little man, baby boy, sweet boy/man, little dude (that's Travs:).
Oh my sweet Kenna. She is a spunky little five year old! She keeps me on my toes everyday. She is so loving to her family and very bossy at the same time (which Jordyn doesn't appreciate very much:) She will try to discipline Jordyn like we do so she is truly the second mommy.
