It is really hard trying to explain death to a five year old! I debated on whether or not to let Makenna see Grandma. I didn't know if she would understand. I didn't know how she would take it. I just didn't know. I just figured we would go in the room and let her take the lead. If she went over to see her, we would just go with it. Makenna pretty much went over to Grandma right away. She really wanted to see her so I went with her. My precious little girl just put her hands on the side of her casket and looked and her Grandma Great. We just talked about how pretty she was and how pretty her dress was. We took our seats and thought that went very well when the next thing I know, Makenna is back looking at Grandma.....hands again on the side of the casket looking in. This girl was making me break down! She kept going back again and again. I don't know what was going through this sweet baby girl's mind but she wanted to see her Grandma Great. When they were about to close her casket, I took her up one last time and we said that we loved her. Makenna started crying as we left and she told me that she wanted Grandma to say I love you back to her!!
This is the picture that she drew at joy school yesterday. In the upper right corner is Grandma Great in her casket with a flower on it (she had flowers all over it) and Makenna is on the bottom left and has tears coming down her face!
As we were walking behind Grandma after the funeral was over, Makenna started getting panicky. I asked her what was the matter and she said she wanted to give Grandma Great a kiss. I told her she couldn't and she started to get upset. Then she really started to freak out when she saw them put her in the back of the hearse. She totally broke down crying when we got in the van. I got in the back with her and just held her and she just kept saying that she hopes Grandma feels better. After we got to the grave site and the dedicatory prayer (which my Dad gave and did an awesome job on:), some threw roses into the grave. Makenna wanted to do this but as she did it, she yells, "OH CRAP!! My rose broke!!" That's my Makenna:) Her rose had broken apart and fell off. When it was time to leave, she started to get upset again and she told me she wanted to give Grandma a kiss! I could think of only one solution so I took her over there and we both blew kisses at Grandma! I know she caught them:)
This is a flower from one of the arrangements.
That night and the next couple of days were still hard for her. She kept saying that she hopes Grandma feels better. She would all of a sudden be in tears and tell me that she is sad because she wants to see Grandma. She was also worried about my Mom because she saw tears coming down her face:) I think we are now in the phase of denial. She drew her a picture and said she wanted to go over to her house to see her and hang it up on her wall. I don't really know how else to explain this to a five year old. It's Memorial Day this weekend and we always put something on Grandpa Dunsmoor's grave so I'm going to take Makenna with me this time so she can put something on Grandma's. Maybe we will give Grandma that picture:)
3 days ago
3 comments:
Kenna seemed to accept Dot going to Heaven easier than Grandma Great. Maybe it was because she could see how sick Dot was and understood how much pain she was in. With Grandma, she saw a smiling Grandma that she loved so much one day. Then a few days later she is with Heavenly Father. It is hard for all of us to grasp. I love you my Kenna.
It's so hard to explain death to children, but it's a part of life and it gives us, as parents, a great chance to let them know about eternal families early in life. And discussing the fact that we will all life together again helps us to cement it in our minds, too!
Poor little Kenna...I imagine this is really hard for her. Have you tried the example of the hand in the glove for separation of body and spirit? Taking her to the cemetary to visit and take flowers will be helpful...and definitely take the picture she drew. That would be perfect. Hope it all goes well.
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