My name is Krista and I am a worrier

Yes, that's right. I am finally admitting it. My mom and mom in law are worriers and now that I'm a mom, I'm a worrier too. I think it just comes with that title in this family. I also think that we all are in a way or other. For me, with Makenna, I won't let her play out front by herself. Not in this world in this day. I worry that she will get hit by a car. I worry that someone will take her. I worry that she will just wonder off and get lost. I have just recently felt comfortable letting her play by herself out back. I don't know why. I just worry. With Jordyn, I worry about sids. I did with Makenna too. I think it's because it took a while to get pregnant and so I read a lot!! I mean a lot!! I know more than I should know and I think that makes me worry more than others about certain things. I kind of envy other moms that don't worry about these kinds of things. But at the same time, it's what makes me, me. When some moms are putting pretty bumpers and blankets in their cribs when their newborn arrives, I put a pretty sheet on mine. I ended up putting a bumper in Makenna's crib but she was much older and it was to save her head. Jordyn isn't there yet. She rolls over. I know she does but she doesn't do it very much. She is just a mellow baby. She only does it when I leave the room. I can sit next to her for the longest time trying to get her to roll over but she won't do it. I put her down for one minute while I get something in the other room and she has flipped over in that one minute. I'm sure I will eventually put up a bumper in her crib but not until she is a pro. Travis says that she will cry or move if she can't breathe. Yes, he's right but that's not how sids happens. It's when they are really close to something and keep breathing their own air and can't get fresh air. That wouldn't make her wake up. That's why I don't put blankets in there unless they are swaddled in them. I just don't want to take that chance. Yes, it's probably a very small chance of something happening but I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if something happened to my baby because I wanted to get more sleep. No one ever thinks that bad things will happen to them but they do. It happened to someone my friend knows just a couple of weeks ago. She probably didn't think it would happen to her either. I'm not saying that moms are bad if they do that because that is definitely not what I'm saying. Like I said before, I kinda wish I was like that and didn't worry so much about this kind of stuff. I even check to make sure my girls are breathing before I go to bed. I don't know why. I just do. I am also treating this like a journal and just wanted to write down my feelings for myself. Hearing about that baby just brings topics like this to the front of my mind. I think my personality makes me worry about something all the time and I just have to try to not get an ulcer. I guess all I can do is try to keep my girls safe with all that I can do and hand it over to my Father in Heaven for the rest.